


Thrill

by ElectricRituals



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bardic competition, Gen, M/M, Songfic, i actually have no clue how to tag this, it's either hate sex or murder, the ending is open to interpretation, they aren't together, you choose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26711749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricRituals/pseuds/ElectricRituals
Summary: Jaskier writes a new song and dedicates it to his nemesis, Valdo Marx. Jaskier is surprised when Valdo turns his own words against him.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	Thrill

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm wine drunk and have had this idea buzzing around in my head. 
> 
> For imaginative purposes I like to think of Robert Sheehan from Umbrella Academy (particularly long-haired cult leader Klaus) as Valdo Marx.
> 
> This is based on the song "Choke" by I Don't Know How but They Found Me and it is 100% the inspiration behind this fic.

Taking the stage, Jaskier knew he had to do his best, better than his best, even. It was imperative that he absolutely _obliterated_ the competition.

The competition being, of course, Valdo Marx.

The absolutely insufferable _twit_ of a man had been peacocking about all week, making casual remarks about his lack of competition this year, how he was guaranteed the win.

And the man hadn’t been _entirely_ wrong, none of the other bards that had turned up to this particular bardic competition were anything to write home about. They weren’t _bad_ , per se, but they weren’t exactly _inspired_ , either.

It seemed most of the talent that had arrived was newly out of The Academy and initially Jaskier had intended to just be a spectator, not feeling it was really necessary to pit himself against the new bards.

And then Valdo Marx arrived.

The man looked much like he had in their school days, although he was aging much more noticeably than Jaskier. His attitude had also not really changed, still faffing about, claiming he was someone important. Sure, the dark-haired man had secured himself a position as the troubadour of Cidaris, but Jaskier was _famous_. His words were sung throughout the continent, any tavern, brothel, or court you happened upon could start up a rousing round of Toss a Coin on command.

Jaskier was the very definition of _better_ than Valdo Marx.

And so Jaskier found himself a sudden participant of the competition. A participant that absolutely _had_ to win. He couldn’t lose to that smarmy scum of a man.

The only problem was that this was a competition, and, despite Jaskier’s obvious talent, the man never did his best in competitions. It was too artificial, his crowd not truly there to enjoy him, but to judge him against his peers. And then there were the judges themselves.

Jaskier had performed in front of many a tough crowd, he had performed in courts across the continent and even once, quite memorably, in the Fae realm. Despite his experiences though, competitions were something wholly different, a beast he hadn’t quite perfected slaying.

No, competitions had never been Jaskier’s favorite. But Valdo, oh he thrived in competitions. The man was sly and underhanded and had a knack of finding out the judges ahead of time, learning what music would appeal to them, greasing palms as necessary. Jaskier could never be sure why Valdo won a competition, be it his skill in charming the judges panel or something less appropriate, which is why he always doubted any win the bard claimed.

This time would be different though. Everyone knew this competition would come down to the two of them and after listening to bloody Valdo Marx blathering about, already claiming his victory, Jaskier had to win.

Jaskier hadn’t had much time to plan his song for this competition since he hadn’t decided to compete until Valdo had shown up, much later than is polite for events such as these, but he had been struck by inspiration and had managed to write a new song for the competition, one of his best.

Other than Geralt and his adventures, Jaskier was often at a loss for inspiration, but one night in a tavern, listening to Valdo Marx spout absolute utter bullshit for the better part of the evening, Jaskier got the sudden urge to write. And write he did, staying up most of the night making his new masterpiece.

And now was the time to show it off.

Swaggering confidently to the front of the stage, Jaskier smiled his most charming smile, sent a wink off to the judges, and addressed his audience.

“I hope you’re all having a lovely evening, I know I am,” Jaskier began, setting off a light round of applause, “I would like to dedicate this song to none other than Valdo Marx, troubadour of Cidaris. Without him, this song wouldn’t exist.”

He knew it was a cocky move, and would certainly be one that backfired if he were to lose to the man, but Jaskier had no intention of losing and decided that taunting Valdo was a fun he just couldn’t pass up.

Jaskier immediately began strumming his lute, prancing around the stage. He fed off the energy of the crowd, his song was certainly working, getting a much larger reaction than any of the other performers had gotten.

The song was different to anything else he had ever written, the whole song written to taunt and antagonize. It had been bold of Jaskier to write a song so blatantly displaying his rivalry with the troubadour, bolder even to dedicate it to him.

And the thrill Jaskier got from the act was like nothing else.

As the song came to a close, Jaskier approached the edge of the stage again, singing the last line acapella.

 _So bite your tongue, and choke yourself_.

Jaskier bowed deeply, first to the audience and then the judges table, before exiting the stage.

-

The winner celebration was still lively, even hours and hours after the winner had been announced. Wine was being poured, drunken bards were singing jigs out of tune, men were tripping over themselves to impress women, women were smiling seductively and taking advantage of the situation to the best of their ability.

And Jaskier was thriving, the center of attention.

Upon hearing his own name, Jaskier had been unable to feel anything other than smug, quickly meeting the eyes of Valdo Marx, sending the other man a scathing smile.

After that, everything was a blur. Jaskier had been corralled away to the party hosted after in honor of the winner. Immediately Jaskier found himself surrounded by decadent wine and women and men and thoughts of Valdo Marx left his head.

-

It was much later in the night, morning really, when Jaskier remembered Valdo Marx, remembered exactly why he had even entered the bardic competition in the first place.

As the party died down Jaskier stumbled to his rooms, smile and shirt loose thanks to the alcohol, tongue heavy with the taste of the women who had spent the last hour with her thighs wrapped around his head.

Jaskier didn’t notice the visitor to his rooms at first, head pleasantly swimming with wine. It wasn’t until he had been pressed up against the door, arms caging him on either side that he noticed the fire of Valdo’s eyes.

Valdo grinned sharply, “Why don’t you choke me yourself, you coward.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @ElectricRituals


End file.
